Nothing explained why Ben was lying to me
Healthy bloodwork.
No sign of cancer.
The dates were only weeks old.
Weeks after we’d been told he was dying.
I read the words over and over until they blurred together.
If Ben wasn’t dying… then why were we getting married in a hospital?
We’d been told he was dying.
Why had the doctors told us he only had months to live?
Why was he pretending to be a dying man?
I grabbed my phone with shaking hands and photographed the reports as quickly as I could.
There were more papers underneath.
I was about to look at them when the bathroom faucet stopped running.
My heart lurched.
My time was up.
There were more papers underneath.
I slid everything back exactly where I found it and smoothed the sheet.
The toilet flushed.
I grabbed the water pitcher off Ben’s tray and pretended to pour.
Ben shuffled out, IV pole clicking beside him.
“Are you sure you’re okay, baby?” he asked. “You look a little green.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I told you, I’m just tired.”
“Come here.”
I slid everything back exactly where I found it
He patted the edge of the bed.
I sat, and he took my hand in his.
It took everything in me not to yank it back.
I looked at the man I had loved for twenty years.
And realized I did not know him at all.
It took everything in me not to yank it back.
Ben urged me to go home and rest again, and I went.
When I stepped out into the hallway, the nurse was stocking supplies into a cart.
She glanced at my face and immediately knew.
“You looked.”
I nodded.
“I didn’t see all of it, but the reports say he isn’t sick.”
I stepped out into the hallway
She closed her eyes for a second.
